Neal Ardley will tell AFC Wimbledon to invoke the Crazy Gang spirit and give West Ham a torrid Carabao Cup night at Kingsmeadow.
Boss Ardley admits some of the antics in the original Wimbledon’s Crazy Gang days would now be punishable by jail time – but insists elements of that madcap spirit still have a place in modern football.
The former Wimbledon midfielder chuckles when recalling the all-time great Premier League goals for which he proved a bystander; David Beckham’s halfway line lob, Tony Yeboah’s thunderbolt, Dalian Atkinson’s mazy solo effort and Paolo Di Canio’s stunning volley.
But Ardley also continues to extol the sensible side of Wimbledon’s old-school team spirit, which he fights hard to ensure lives on in the club’s new incarnation.
Wimbledon and West Ham’s hard men may be long gone – and Ardley spent £100,000 in the summer as opposed to the Hammers’ £100million – but Tuesday night’s League One hosts are ready to stick it to their Premier League visitors.
“We’d go to Manchester United and I’d look around the dressing room and know everyone was thinking ‘we’re coming here to win’,” said Ardley of his Premier League days with Wimbledon, for whom he made 245 appearances between 1991 and 2002.
“We were never beaten before we’d played. We felt we could rough anyone up.
“I’ve got a lot of belief in this group, and I actually believe I don’t have to change my system against West Ham.
“These principles remain, no matter who you’re playing. We just need to be aware that they will punish you, they will see that pass maybe where they wouldn’t in our league.”
Wimbledon’s FA Cup triumph of 1988 still remains chief among all English folklore tales of a bunch of misfits banding together for a victory of grit and desire.
Despite football’s increasingly bland landscape of identikit professionals, though, Ardley still sees the value of an old-school prank – albeit one very much softened around the edges.
“Back in the day at Wimbledon, a lot of the things we got away with you’d never get away with now – half of us would be locked up in prison!” said Ardley.
“The characters are still there, though. We still have pranks like in the old days, but you have to be careful because you’re only one little bit away from opening up an investigation.
“I pulled my players two years ago to have a really good chat about discrimination and about the language they used. It was just to make sure we felt relaxed in each other’s environment.
“New signings have to sing a song, but we also get them to do a Q&A.
“It’s not a nice Q&A! They have to stand up on a chair; it’s very intrusive, about many parts of their lives.
“They need to be ready and they have to be honest! Little bits like that, but it’s all done in fun.
“On our pre-season tour we had a bit of golf and an evening out together. Two of the squad couldn’t get into one place, so everyone chose to go elsewhere.
“That was a good start for the ‘stick together’ motto we try to work by.”
And what of his and Wimbledon’s bit-part role in some of the very best Premier League goals? Ardley laughed that he was simply happy to take a role.
“I saw the 100 best Premier League goals on TV recently, and I was joking with Ben Thatcher that we were on the receiving end of about 20!” said Ardley.
“I was tracking Di Canio back for that goal. Thatch and I were laughing and he was telling me I should have cut out the cross.
“But then we’d never get to see it again and again would we?”